Voters need to have a number of heads examined this year

Steve Marcus

Former President Donald Trump speaks to supporters during a campaign rally in Sunset Park on Sunday, June 9, 2024.

By Peter Jensen

Saturday June 22, 2024 | 2 o’clock

It takes a certain je ne sais quoi – a mixture of inflated ego, shamelessness and perhaps more than a touch of your own dementia – to use your 78th birthday to mock a rival who is 81 years old. First, you must believe that you yourself are not actually aging (a circumstance that would put you in rare company indeed). Second, you need to be sure that your own mental faculties are in excellent condition (when the evidence is overwhelming against that statement). And finally, you just have to be, to put it bluntly, a pretty bitter old guy. Enter Donald John Trump, who celebrated his 78th birthday in West Palm Beach by portraying President Joe Biden as too weak for a second term with a call for him to take an “aptitude test.”

Now, I have nothing against standardized aptitude tests. Personally, I can think of quite a few people in government positions who would have to demonstrate their ability to, for example, not secretly accept millions of dollars in luxury vacations from a major donor to the Republican Party while serving on the highest court of the country (Justice). Clarence Thomas, don’t forget to pay for your own #2 pencil before the quiz).

U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene deserves a test to at least show that she doesn’t hear voices the rest of us can’t quite distinguish.

And U.S. Sen. Bob Menendez deserves some form of gold bar test in which he must prove his ability to refuse a payout when offered — especially if the New Jersey Democrat somehow gets a guilty verdict in his ongoing avoids bribery process.

But hearing from a seventy-year-old in late stages and an eighty-year-old in early stages is the kind of “Are you listening to yourself?” a personal attack you expect to encounter in the hallway of a nursing home, not in a presidential campaign. What caused this? A bad batch of tapioca pudding?

By the way, I believe I have the right to make such age observations because I am about to become eligible for Medicare. These are my people. Or at least I recognize that they will be my people in the not-so-distant future.

In most Asian cultures, such as Japan, China, Korea and Vietnam, the elderly are revered. In the United States, the peak years for respectability are generally the age where Taylor Swift currently lives, which I’m told is 34 years old. This is probably because she was born in 1989. I suspect Biden and Trump are still wearing ties and pocket squares they bought in 1989, so there is a connection.

Personally, I cringe a little when either guy tries to be hip. It’s better that they can both claim that they still have their original hips. Biden may walk a little stiffly and show balance problems at times, but Trump can’t remember exactly what happened in the last election or on January 6, 2021. Moreover, his greatest ambition for a second term seems to be to take revenge. on Americans who do not bow down to him. It’s better for Grandpa to make ends meet a little slowly than to slowly end up in a dictatorship, as my children always say.

Historically, most American presidents were in their 50s when they were inaugurated. It looks like the next one will be the oldest in history. It’s fair to put more scrutiny on vice presidential candidates this year, given the greater opportunity they have to lead (given that the average life expectancy of an American man is just under 75, it’s fair to say that both of these boys have overtime).

Polls show that many Americans have an unfavorable opinion of Vice President Kamala Harris, but the list of candidates promoted by Trump does not exactly inspire confidence. Excited about North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum, a 67-year-old wealthy tech executive who bent the knee by calling Trump’s hush-money lawsuit election interference? I do not think so.

The challenge here is not that there are older people running for president, but that we can’t recognize disordered thinking when we see it. Stuttering is not dementia. Someone who wanders does not necessarily have a cognitive impairment. No, the mental disorder I would rather find disqualifying is narcissism, characterized by grandiosity, entitlement, attention seeking, manipulation and a lack of empathy. So which of the candidates seems to suffer from this ailment? Let’s wish him a belated happy birthday.

Peter Jensen is a columnist for The Baltimore Sun.